WASHING DISHES

Dear Weeb,

I have been making an effort to let you be more in charge of you. Today you showed some interest in washing dishes that were in the sink, so I asked if you would like to do that.

You did a great job!

RAINBOW WEEBS

Dear Weeb,

Your art makes me smile.

SUPERMOON

Dear Weeb,

Tonight we were going to experience a Super Moon.

March 19, 2011 — Sky enthusiasts have the chance to view an amazing phenomenon tonight. You'll be able to witness the largest and brightest full moon in 19 years from the comfort of your front yard. Why is this moon so special? Because it will be a couple thousand kilometers closer to earth.

You were excited and we let you stay up late to see it. I agreed to take the telescope out with us.

Our first venture out, around 7:30PM was unsuccessful; the moon was not visible to us yet.

Our second venture out, around 8:30PM was unsuccessful; we could see the moon from the back bedroom, but it wasn't high enough to be able to see it over the houses yet.

Our third venture out, at 9:00PM was more successful. The moon was nice and big and orange. It didn't seem all that much bigger or brighter than usual. It was a bit cloudy and there was a bit of a haze in the sky. You kept telling me that the twinkling stars were the Northern Lights. Sorry kid, like I tried to tell you a half dozen times, you were looking at the constellation of Orion.

I took a few pictures, but my point and shoot camera was pretty useless. Daddy tried to take pictures but the good camera doesn't have a lens that is good enough to get a moon shot, despite his best attempts.

Daddy got the telescope aimed at the moon so we got to see a bit of that. But neither of us could figure out how to focus it on any of the sparkley stars that you were interested in.

I feel like I spent the entire time we were outside telling you to wait and growling at you to be quiet (we were at the complex park and young kids would have been sleeping). I feel like the experience wasn't as joyous as it should have been and that was my fault. Despite the frustrations with the cameras and the telescope and a very loud and excited little girl, I should have been able to make it all exciting for you.

I hope you remember it as exciting. I hope you remember it as super.

YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME

Dear Weeb,

You were cuddling on the couch with Daddy and told him that you were so glad that you picked him for your daddy.

He said he loved you, too.

You said, "You have to love me, I came out of your wife! Duh!"

We're going to be laughing at that one for a long time.

DINOSAURS IN OUR OUTER SPACE

Dear Weeb,

The 'whole entire Earth' is NOT currently 'being eated by dinosaurs in our outer space'.

Now eat your dinner.

MORE WEEB TEETH

Dear Weeb,

When you were brushing your teeth last night, we were surprised that there was quite a lot of blood when you spit. A quick inspection shows that a corner of your second 6 year molar (bottom left this time) has broken through the skin!

This morning, your gum is swollen where the rest of the tooth is trying to break through the skin, but that big corner is still clearly through the gum!

No sign of the top ones just yet.

Your bottom, middle left baby tooth is really wiggly now! The adult tooth has come through and grown quite a lot and is really pushing that little one out. I wonder how long it will take. I wonder what kind of shiny coin the Tooth Fairy will bring you for your second baby tooth?

BEAUTIFULNESS

Dear Weeb,

As we sit watching the movie Labyrinth, I comment that if we ever get a dog, we should name him Sir Didymus or Oubliette.

You are quite insistent, however, that if we get a dog, it shall be named Beautifulness.

Not gonna happen.

ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2011

Dear Weeb,

You really wanted a green shirt for St. Patrick's Day. Daddy and I bought you three (you needed some new shirts). Somehow, you're still wearing pink. This is your favorite of the three shirts we bought. I knew you'd like all the little shamrocks on it.

You insisted on showing off a pencil in this photo because you are an artist now.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

ARTWORK FOR MUMMY

Dear Weeb,

Today you were drawing pictures. I had said earlier, as I was bending to grab something from the floor, that I feel old today. Apparently this spurred your creative flow.

The below picture reads (in 5 year old-ese): I will miss you when you die, Mummy.

One can't help but notice the big pool of, what I'm guessing is, blood. I am indeed touched by the tears shed by you and Daddy.

After I suggested that your drawings were a tad morbid and could we please draw something happy now, you came up with this (below).

It reads (also in 5 year old-ese): You were alive.

Thanks so much for making me part of your art life, kid.

BREAKING EGGS

Dear Weeb,

Today, you helped Daddy make omelettes for lunch. He said you were a very good little helper. You sure looked like you were having fun, so I took some video. Check our family archives if you are interested in seeing the two or three short videos I took. I won't post them online because they're too big, plus I think it's kinda creepy having video on a blog that anyone can view. The omelettes were fantastic, by the way.

WEEB TEETH

Dear Weeb,

We discovered that you have a 6 year molar. The other three are coming, but this one is very THERE.

You lost your first baby tooth a few months ago and judging by the adult tooth that is well through the gum beside the first, but behind the baby tooth, said stubborn baby tooth is on its way out soon.

SCHOOL ART

Dear Weeb,

There are several art projects posted on the walls outside your class room.

This first one has something to do with a story or lesson that teaches: Sometimes I get what I want, and sometimes I don't. I am not quite sure what you are trying to say with this picture. Sometimes you get Mummy. And there we are, together, all happy. Sometimes you don't. And there we are with Daddy. Daddy and I look happy and you look sad. I don't get it because you love your dad and more often than not have more fun with him than with me. You said you are sad when he comes home and hasn't brought dinner. Okay. Is my cooking THAT bad? My guess is you were having fun drawing and lost track of the point.

And I just thought these were cute. We had determined that March came in like a lamb this year, but you were outvoted in your class, I think because of some poem you were learning about.

BARRAGE OF BARBIES

Deer Weeb,

Your toys have officially taken over.

We would kinda like the living room back, please.

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, LASER GUN

Dear Weeb,

You invent interesting games. I don't think I need to elaborate much on this, other than to say that Laser Gun beats everything and when you say, "Okay Daddy, this time you pick something different and I pick something different," what you MEAN is, "Okay Daddy, this time you pick something different and I'll still pick Laser Gun."

You had me and Daddy laughing pretty hard. There is video to go along with it in our family archives. Watch it one day.

AN AGARNIATION

Dear Weeb,

You have been telling me that you've been working on your 'agarniation'.

Um, your what?

You explain that it is, "A beautiful artwork that persons do for drawing for all art."

And who does it? "People in the past when I wasn't born yet."

What makes it an 'agarniation? "What you have to do is have a blank, large thing to write on and you have to put on a lot and lot and lot and lot of beautiful colors. And also you have to make your mom and dad and yourself in it."

Who made the first 'agarniation'? "I think it's a boy. Then a girl. Then a boy."

Tell me more about 'agarniations'. "Well all the other people died and then I came along with 'agarniation power' and I decided to make one. And all my heart I been really wanting to do this when I was 5 this year."

We have been trying to figure out what word you are confusing this with. It has occurred to us that you've just made it up. It's another one of those moments where I'm not sure if I should be proud or worried. I think I'll pick proud.

PEOPLE WITH GLANDULAR PROBLEMS

Dear Weeb,

I don't know what prompted you to ask me, "Can people with glandular problems exercise?"

After much 5 year old discussion, where stories are completely un-understandable and ever changing, we gather that you've heard the term on Johnny Test. When Johnny takes monkey growth hormones and becomes 'Phat Johnny', he did not exercise, though what prompted you, at that moment, to think of the show and ask me your weird little inquiry is still beyond me.

DOUBLE DOWN

Dear Weeb,

You used a new phrase yesterday, that I thought was really funny. Though I suppose it's more sad, really.

I can't even remember what we were talking about but I said something made me sad and you asked, "Are you double down, Mummy?"

Double down?

That's when you're REALLY sad, you explained. You are DOUBLE down.

It sounded super funny to me, but I get the 5 year old logic. I asked who says that at school and you insisted that you made up the saying.

Double down. It's not just a disgusting menu item from KFC anymore!

No Weebs were harmed in the taking of this photograph.

But you were not pleased that I kept yelling at you to hurry up and smile because my camera battery was dying. Yeah, I'm the mother of the year. Weeb, this is photographic evidence of your tragic childhood. Mummy is sorry (even if I am still laughing at this photo). I promise to have more patience when I'm Mommarazzi-ing you.