BELLYBUTTON PASTA

Dear Weeb,

You've been talking about 'bellybutton pasta' for several days now. You explained that your teacher had some at a restaurant and the class thought it was really funny. You later explained that she'd brought some into class, in a pot, and everyone got to try. You didn't get to try though, as she hadn't cleared it with me first (or she knew it was not nut safe).

I searched Google for 'Bellybutton Pasta' today. Ah, it's tortellini! So I show you, "Look Weeb, your bellybutton pasta is called tortellini!"

"I know."

You know.

"Well why didn't you tell me that when we were having our bellybutton pasta battle in the grocery store, yesterday and I told you I had no idea what kind of pasta you were talking about?"

"I dunno."

"You'd like it, I think. It's just pasta stuffed with cheese or meat."

You made a face like I'd just told you the most amazing thing EVER. "I have to have some TODAY!"

"We could probably do that," I say.

"Wait, wait, no, I don't want any."

Of course you don't.