NOISES

Weeb: Mummy I heard a noise.

Mummy: Well, yeah, if you listen, you'll hear lots of noises.

Weeb: From the stairs? I think it's a moooooonster!

Mummy: There are no monsters.

Weeb: I heard a little more monsters.

Mummy: There are NO monsters.

Weeb: Yes they are. My hands are scared (they are stuffed into my t-shirt).

Mummy: Willow there are no monsters.

Weeb: Momma, you're a GIANT!

AMN'T

Mummy: Did you toot? Are you tooty?

Weeb: I amn't!

Mummy: Weeb, amn't isn't a word. You mean to say I am not.

Weeb: No I amn't!

I see your logic. Why isn't AMN'T a word?

I DON'T WANT TO BE A BOY

Weeb: Mummy, I don't want to be a boy. I want to stay being a girl so I can turn five and go to Kindergarten.

Mummy: Uh. Okay. Do you think you are going to turn into a boy?

Weeb: No! That's just silly, Momma!

GET ME KID?

Dear Weeb,

While at the airport the other day, you, my darling offspring, upon being told that you had to hold somebody's hand, say to me, "I don't have to do what you say."

So I grab you by the arm and get down to your eye level and tell you that you WILL do what I say because what I tell you to do is to keep you safe so you don't get hit by a car or a bad person doesn't take you and hurt you (yes, your mother is one of THOSE mothers). Get me kid?

"I get you momma," you say.

I have no doubt that we will be repeating this conversation many times.

BARGAINING

Dear Weeb,

You have been so funny lately... when you're having a meltdown (like if I take something away or put my foot down in any way) you'll get into the bargaining. Here are some of your favorites:

"Not yet, not yet! Ten more minutes!"

"I really, really, really, really, REALLY don't want to !"

"I promise, I promise I won't do again I PROMISE!"

Occasionally we'll catch you in the middle of a long tragic rant to yourself that includes:

"Nobody understands me ."

"Nobody believes me ."

"Nobody likes me ."

I have no idea where you got the last three from. Well the nobody believes me might be from THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF that we have been telling you about, trying to explain about lying. We also get the occasional, "I promise I'm not lying, Mummy," from that one. You are a serious little riot!

3 YEAR OLD ATTITUDE

Dear Weeb,

The other day, I sneaked into the kitchen, knowing you would come looking for me and I was going to say BOO (because I'm mean like that).

You didn't bite. You sat in the living room and upon realising I was no longer there said, "Mum?" Pause. "Mum?" Pause.

Then you said something I didn't quite hear.

I'm still in the kitchen trying not to laugh, just waiting for you to come looking.

Finally you said, "FINE Mum! If you're not going to talk to me, then I'm not talking to you either!"

What? Kid, you're THREE! LOL

INTERVIEW WITH WEEB (AGE 3)

Weeb turned 3 in December. This was a FaceBook Interview thing that was going around, at the time.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
Weeb: No.

2. What makes mommy happy?
Weeb: My mouth when I smile.

3. What makes mommy sad?
Weeb: Well, not listening.

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
Weeb: You laugh and laugh and you do this *jumps* and the thing goes pop and I laugh and it's funny.

5. What was your mommy like as a child?
Weeb: Blue.

6. How old is your mommy?
Weeb: 12.

7. How tall is your mommy?
Weeb: *points to top of my head, I'm sitting* This tall.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Weeb: Type.

9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Weeb: *dances in a circle*

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Weeb: *jumps up and down*

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Weeb: She's good at doing Animal Crossing.

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Weeb: *demonstrates a headstand*

13. What does your mommy do for a job?
Weeb: Listen to your boss.

14.What is your mommy's favorite food?
Weeb: Sandwich (I am not a fan of sandwiches).

15.What makes you proud of your mommy?
Weeb: Clap.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Weeb: Dance girl (I think my kid is confusing me with herself). That's a good question, Mum.

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Weeb: We match cards.

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
Weeb: We're both tall enough.

19. How are you and your mommy different?
Weeb: We are different like this *rubs belly*, our human body.

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Weeb: Every day.

21. What does your mommy like most about your dad?
Weeb: He do-s everything he knows.

22. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
Weeb: Grandma's house.

SAD DADDY

Mummy: *teasing Weeb* Look, you made Daddy sad. He's crying.

Weeb: *not buying it* Well I don't see any tears.

WEEB ART FEB/09

FROM MY BLOG:

This is from Feb 2009. Weeb infoms me that this is a picture of her allergy doctor and the scared little girl who had her turn after us. She patted the picture of the little scared girl and told her it was okay, there's nothing to be frightened of. LOL

I'm not sure what this one was about (she had only just turned 3 when she drew these) but they look an awful lot like Balloon People and perhaps a Balloon Cat.

ALLERGIES

Dear Weeb,

The allergist said you have a severe allergy to hazelnuts and a slight allergy to peanuts.

I know a slight allergy to peanuts can be a bad thing though.

We were overwhelmed at the appointment and I'm not sure what it all means, other than we need to get Epi Pens for you.

I am terrified and heartbroken for you.

The allergist advised that you might grow out of it and to have you retested in a couple of years.

Testing was hell, by the way. I was being tested at the same time. I wish now that I hadn't done that because I couldn't move when they were testing you, so you sat with Daddy. It hurt to do it though and you screamed, hysterically. My poor girl.

I'm so, so sorry.