BOY GAZING

Dear Weeb,

I appreciate that you think Marko is SO cute that you just have to stare at him during your lunch break, but I want you to understand that he probably doesn't like being stared at, and more importantly, I would like you to actually eat your lunch.

Your inability to eat your lunch because you're too busy gazing upon a handsome boy (your words, not mine) is disturbing.

You are aware that you're 5 years old, right?

Eat your lunch.

Love Mummy

SWINGING

Dear Weeb,

You're finally mastering the swings. I still have to start you off, but you can keep yourself going pretty well, despite your many requests for a push.

One would never think that you are the same little girl who gets into trouble at school, nearly daily, for not listening to your teacher or for today's gem that got you sent to the corner, "I didn't mean that I'd REALLY punch Josiah's face off."

Nice, kid. Real nice. LOL