HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2010

Dear Weeb,

We have been dressing you up and posing you for seasons greeting cards since you were born.

I hope you will think that's cool, one day. But at some point you're going to be horrified by these pictures. Sorry about that. But until then, here's the awesome one your dad did for you this Christmas!

SANTA'S SECURITY CAMERAS

Dear Weeb,

I wanted to record this precious moment of your childhood.

You just came into the kitchen where I was making very marshmallowy holiday Rice Krispie Treats and you waggled your butt at me. You likely did this because your father was doing the same.

My glare (why do I always have to play the straight man?) met your grinning face and you announced, "And I'm still not on the naughty list because Santa doesn't have security cameras everywhere!"

Oh really?

So where does Santa have security cameras? Nowhere, you advise. You further explain that he has a tracking system and just knows when people are good and bad because he has a naughty and nice list, REMEMBER?!

It seems you think that because you were on the nice list in the past, you will remain there.

So, if Santa just knows, why do you think he won't see you waggling your butt at me? Your answer, "Well I just saw my daddy doing it."

Uh huh. No extra marshmallowy Rice Krispie Treats for you.

Or Daddy.

Well... maybe just one.

NOW YOU'RE FIVE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my amazing daughter! I don't know how the planet could spin without you on it!

Oh, and just because it's your birthday, it doesn't mean you're going to get taller over night... even though you did.

44" tall and 41 lbs full of five year old vile! I'm glad you enjoyed your Rainbow Play-Doh birthday party. I have no idea how we'll top that, next year!

I love you.

Mummy

LITTLE BIG WEEB

Dear Weeb,

Proof that you are the child of people who play video games, you just said, as we were playing Little Big Planet, "Daddy, look out for the fiery obstacoals!"

The obstacles were coals, so somehow it works. Well done, kid!

HELPER ELF

Dear Weeb,

When we were at the mall yesterday, the elves asked if you would like to be an Elf Helper for Santa's Elf Inspection. You replied, "No thank you. I think I'd just like to be a regular girl." Then you, my little performer girl, hid behind me and Daddy.

They just wanted you to stand beside them and talk to Santa with them. They didn't actually want you to leave us and go live at the North Pole, Baby.

I will probably chuckle at your reaction until next December.

RICE KRISPIE SHARDS

Dear Weeb,

I'm sorry that the batch of Holiday Rice Krispie Treats we made were so hard.

Next time we'll make them with WAY more marshmallows.

We should probably count your teeth tomorrow.