RAINBOW LIGHTSABER

Dear Weeb,

I agree, a rainbow colored lightsaber WOULD be cool.

You got a glimpse of STAR WARS - CLONE WARS on TV and recognised it as something your boyfriend at school talks about. So you wanted to watch it. She say to Daddy, "I can't figure out who is Star Wars and who is Clone Wars."

You call R2D2 'Arpy Dupy'.

THE MIGHTY BANANA WEEB INFECTION

FROM MY BLOG:

Few know of the Mighty Banana Weeb Infection.

In the darkness of night it will slink into your home and find your bananas. Instinct draws the Weeb to bananas and it can find them with little or no effort, regardless of how well you hide them. It finds the mightiest banana and infects it with Weebishness.

Hiding bananas in the fridge no longer keeps your long yellow tasties safe as the Weeb has evolved to such a degree that it can now open refrigerators, though the Weeb has commented that refrigerating bananas turns them black which is gross and seems to be a very high price to pay for banana safety, especially given that as Weeb protection, refrigeration no longer works. The Weeb further explained that in these cases, she will infect your black bananas just for a laugh.

An odd fact regarding the Mighty Banana Weeb Infection, and one scientists are hoping leads them to a cure, is though the Weeb does enjoy infecting bananas, it does not enjoy eating them.

Signs of Might Banana Weeb Infection include:

• markings that resemble a cute little face at the end of the biggest banana
• the nighttime sounds of giggling, as though a banana with a face was up to no good
• the mysterious juicing of your other fruits and vegetables
• missing mini marshmallows

At this time there is no cure for the Mighty Banana Weeb Infection. We recommend you wash your hands often and stock up on mini marshmallows.

DISNEY'S HERCULES

Dear Weeb,

I am listening to ANOTHER four year old commentary on Hercules. Kid, I've seen the movie several times and though I know you are sick and require the viewing several times a day for the past four days, I do not need to know about or look at every single thing that amuses you. Though know and look I shall (like I have a choice).

One day we will chat about the inaccuracies between the Disney version and the Greek and Roman versions of the tale.

ZHU ZHU HAIR CUTS

Dear Weeb,

Zhu Zhu hamsters of evilness = 2 inches cut from your hair and lesson learned that pulling out your ponytail to play with Zhu Zhu hamsters of evilness has hair shortening consequences.

TEARTH

Dear Weeb,

You have decided that Earth has a brother named Tearth.