VALENTINES IN JANUARY

Dear Weeb,

Today, you got your first Valentine of the year.

Seriously? Your little boyfriend couldn't wait another couple of weeks?

It's a long strip of paper with four little hearts traced and colored in red.

You've just informed me that you want to draw a Valentine for him tomorrow; a picture of you holding his hand.

You tell me that your boyfriend from last year is still your boyfriend, too, though you haven't seen him since last June.

Love is in the air, and it seems that it centers around you.

I guess I can understand that.

PLAY DATES

Dear Weeb,

Stop asking if you can have five friends over for a play date.

Because their mothers will find out what a messy house of messiness we live in, that's why!

Let's wait until it's nicer outside and then have a play date. Maybe a picnic?

We have to talk to the mothers of your friends first. Because that's how it works.

And let's start with ONE kid. At THEIR house.

And then let's hope that their house is messier than ours!

THAT'S WEEBY!

It's a Weeb!

PHONE CALLS FROM BOYFRIENDS

Dear Weeb,

You just asked me to write down our phone number for a couple of boys in your class.

I remind you that you are in Kindergarten and suggest that I am not ready for you to be getting phone calls from your boyfriends from school just yet.

You tell me that they are your boyfriends only SOME of the time, but they think it's ALL of the time. And then I'm pretty sure you laughed. Evilly.

Kid, I just got 6 more gray hairs.

And before you ask, no, you cannot borrow the car.

YOU CANNOT KISS YOUR ELBOW

Dear Weeb,

You cannot kiss your own elbow. Argue with me all you want, but you can't. Go ahead, keep trying.

You also cannot kiss your own belly. And why were you trying? You explain that you wanted to kiss your baby seeds because then it would be like you were kissing your babies.

They're eggs, Baby. I know I first said that you were a seed, but they are called eggs. I know this concept is very strange for a 5 year old. However, trust me when I say you cannot kiss them.

YOU GUYS ARE TOO LOUD!

Dear Weeb,

You often turn to me and your father and ask us to stop laughing so loudly.

I'm so glad that you were born into our family, where the loudest noise is usually laughter.

You're welcome.

We love you,

Mummy & Daddy

THAT'S TOTALLY LAME!

Dear Weeb,

I'm not sure where you've learned the charming phrase, "That's totally lame!" You probably heard it at school.

You can stop saying it about everything now, please.

Love Mummy

THE SCHOOL HALL

Dear Weeb,

I was taking you to school this morning because I hurt my shoulder very badly and was staying home from work. You were whiny and complaining and I was telling you that you had to listen and help me this morning because I was in a lot of pain.

You told me about how listening is important and yesterday you got sent to the hall because your teacher told you 3 times to start cleaning up, but you didn't, so you got sent to the hall.

I tried not to laugh when you told me this. I'm glad to know it's not just me that you are unable to hear.

I asked if you cried when you got sent to the hall (since that is how you react every time you're in trouble at home). You said yes.

I tried not to laugh again.

I am starting to like your teacher more and more.

Mostly I was just curious to know if you pulled out the crocodile tears there too, because there is no way you'd get away with it the same way you do at home.

It's funny to me that you didn't tell me about it on the way home from school yesterday. Every time I ask you what happened today, you say, "Nothing." Or you ramble about various things, but all the important stuff seems to get left out. I guess what's important to me isn't the same as what's important to you.

I doubt that this is the first time you've been sent to the hall. I doubt it will be your last.

I'm sorry that it makes me chuckle.

I love you,

Mummy

LIBRARY BOOK SUCCESS!

Dear Weeb,

You did it! You picked TWO books from the school Library today!

I'm so proud of you, kiddo!

Love Mummy

LIBRARY BOOKS

Dear Weeb,

I'm not sure why you are so bothered by the idea of picking a book at the school Library.

I'm not sure if some kid told you that you weren't allowed to like a Scooby Doo book (you've mentioned that someone told you Scooby Doo books are only for boys) or if someone took a book away from you that you wanted (you told me a girl snatched a princess book away from you) or if you are worried about forgetting to return a book, or if you are just overwhelmed by the choices.

You seem to make up excuses. The one you cling to the hardest (and this is my fault for suggesting it), is that you have SO many books at home, you don't NEED a Library book.

I had a chuckle today when you were filling out a school questionnaire and announced that you want to be a Librarian when you grow up. I suggested that you needed to take a book out of the Library before you can be a Librarian.

Grandma and Grandpa suggested that you just pick a pink book tomorrow. And your cousin J called to tell you about the book she picked at her school Library today. And I suggested you ask the Librarian for help tomorrow, and since you want to be a Librarian when you grow up, it would be a good idea to talk to other Librarians.

You decided you would ask the Librarian for two princess books. I said they might not have two princess books in tomorrow and then what will you do. You said that there are LOTS of princess books and you're not worried anymore.

You love to read and be read to SO much, I just don't get this Library fear. We shall see what happens tomorrow. I'm rooting for ya, kid!

Love Mummy