SANTA'S SECURITY CAMERAS

Dear Weeb,

I wanted to record this precious moment of your childhood.

You just came into the kitchen where I was making very marshmallowy holiday Rice Krispie Treats and you waggled your butt at me. You likely did this because your father was doing the same.

My glare (why do I always have to play the straight man?) met your grinning face and you announced, "And I'm still not on the naughty list because Santa doesn't have security cameras everywhere!"

Oh really?

So where does Santa have security cameras? Nowhere, you advise. You further explain that he has a tracking system and just knows when people are good and bad because he has a naughty and nice list, REMEMBER?!

It seems you think that because you were on the nice list in the past, you will remain there.

So, if Santa just knows, why do you think he won't see you waggling your butt at me? Your answer, "Well I just saw my daddy doing it."

Uh huh. No extra marshmallowy Rice Krispie Treats for you.

Or Daddy.

Well... maybe just one.

NOW YOU'RE FIVE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my amazing daughter! I don't know how the planet could spin without you on it!

Oh, and just because it's your birthday, it doesn't mean you're going to get taller over night... even though you did.

44" tall and 41 lbs full of five year old vile! I'm glad you enjoyed your Rainbow Play-Doh birthday party. I have no idea how we'll top that, next year!

I love you.

Mummy

LITTLE BIG WEEB

Dear Weeb,

Proof that you are the child of people who play video games, you just said, as we were playing Little Big Planet, "Daddy, look out for the fiery obstacoals!"

The obstacles were coals, so somehow it works. Well done, kid!

HELPER ELF

Dear Weeb,

When we were at the mall yesterday, the elves asked if you would like to be an Elf Helper for Santa's Elf Inspection. You replied, "No thank you. I think I'd just like to be a regular girl." Then you, my little performer girl, hid behind me and Daddy.

They just wanted you to stand beside them and talk to Santa with them. They didn't actually want you to leave us and go live at the North Pole, Baby.

I will probably chuckle at your reaction until next December.

RICE KRISPIE SHARDS

Dear Weeb,

I'm sorry that the batch of Holiday Rice Krispie Treats we made were so hard.

Next time we'll make them with WAY more marshmallows.

We should probably count your teeth tomorrow.

CRYING AT SCHOOL

Dear Weeb,

I know that your teacher is not as affectionate as your preschool teachers, but you have to understand that she has over 20 kids and she can't always help you immediately, when you need help or attention. The same is true of the Librarian and your computer teacher.

You are an emotional girl, like your mother. I hope to teach you better ways of expressing your feelings and frustrations, though at 41, I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to do the same. Sometimes we just need to cry.

Part of me desperately wants to teach you to act the way that is acceptable, and the other part of me wants you to be yourself and if you have to cry, then you go ahead and cry.

Let's work on understanding WHY you are crying before we tackle how to handle the emotion. I'm pretty sure it's because you're an 'only child' at home and you're used to having as much attention as you'd like. Now you're at school with a much higher kid to teacher ratio than there was at the preschool (there were 50+ kids at your preschool, but there was one teacher or aid for every 5 or 6 kids). You're not the center of the universe anymore. I'm so sorry it's proving to be a hard lesson.

You'll always be the center of MY universe!

READING

Dear Weeb,

Yesterday, Daddy and I heard you talking to yourself in the bathroom.

Upon closer inspection, we realised that you were reading to yourself from your most recent Chirp magazine.

I don't even know how to tell you how proud I am that you are reading so well before you're even 5 years old! A sticker on your calendar just doesn't seem to be enough.

This makes all those times we had to read the same Dora stories to you over and over and over again ALMOST worth while!

I hope your love of reading and being read to continues!

SNOW BOOTS

Dear Weeb,

I do not quite understand why you are so attached to snow boots that you've worn seven times. They were cheap boots and that is why they got holes in the soles so quickly. You needed new boots. Crying in the car, all the way to the mall, and then dropping into a starfish position in the shoe store and crying your little eyes out was not going to solve the boot problem.

I also don't quite understand why your mother, who was NOT mad at you, was not able to calm your boot tragedy, yet the woman at Pay Less had no problem getting a smile out of you and finding boots to appease you. You even agreed to part with the old boots that you had earlier insisted you were going to miss so much that it was making you cry.

I'm very proud of you for not crying at school today. I'm beyond thrilled that you saved it up for me, for after school.

WEEBY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

Dear Weeb,

You did a very good job of singing your new song today. It is a perfect very cold day song to help you remember what to do before you go outside for recess and lunch!

*singing*

You put on your boots, then your coat, then you zip, then your hat, then your mitts!

DREAMS

Dear Weeb,

I'm sorry that you only dream about ghosts and not about Christmas.

Ghosts are not real, even if, as you say, they are real in your imagination.