THE MIGHTY BANANA WEEB INFECTION

FROM MY BLOG:

Few know of the Mighty Banana Weeb Infection.

In the darkness of night it will slink into your home and find your bananas. Instinct draws the Weeb to bananas and it can find them with little or no effort, regardless of how well you hide them. It finds the mightiest banana and infects it with Weebishness.

Hiding bananas in the fridge no longer keeps your long yellow tasties safe as the Weeb has evolved to such a degree that it can now open refrigerators, though the Weeb has commented that refrigerating bananas turns them black which is gross and seems to be a very high price to pay for banana safety, especially given that as Weeb protection, refrigeration no longer works. The Weeb further explained that in these cases, she will infect your black bananas just for a laugh.

An odd fact regarding the Mighty Banana Weeb Infection, and one scientists are hoping leads them to a cure, is though the Weeb does enjoy infecting bananas, it does not enjoy eating them.

Signs of Might Banana Weeb Infection include:

• markings that resemble a cute little face at the end of the biggest banana
• the nighttime sounds of giggling, as though a banana with a face was up to no good
• the mysterious juicing of your other fruits and vegetables
• missing mini marshmallows

At this time there is no cure for the Mighty Banana Weeb Infection. We recommend you wash your hands often and stock up on mini marshmallows.

DISNEY'S HERCULES

Dear Weeb,

I am listening to ANOTHER four year old commentary on Hercules. Kid, I've seen the movie several times and though I know you are sick and require the viewing several times a day for the past four days, I do not need to know about or look at every single thing that amuses you. Though know and look I shall (like I have a choice).

One day we will chat about the inaccuracies between the Disney version and the Greek and Roman versions of the tale.

ZHU ZHU HAIR CUTS

Dear Weeb,

Zhu Zhu hamsters of evilness = 2 inches cut from your hair and lesson learned that pulling out your ponytail to play with Zhu Zhu hamsters of evilness has hair shortening consequences.

TEARTH

Dear Weeb,

You have decided that Earth has a brother named Tearth.

UNICORN FARTS

Dear Weeb,

Wednesday is Macaroni Shell (aka Hamburger Helper) Night. You get left-overs for school on Thursday and Friday, in a Thermos. You did not want this, this week, so you asked for Macaroni Rainbows (aka macaroni elbows, aka Kraft Dinner) with hot dog pieces for lunch Thursday and Friday. When we got home from work/school on Thursday, I began to do the dishes and this conversation took place as I opened your lunch box and took your Thermos out for washing.

Weeb: Momma, tomorrow, I want you to put the hot dogs on the bottom.
Mummy: Okay. Why?
Weeb: Because otherwise I burp macaroni rainbows.
Mummy: So if the hotdogs on the bottom you will burp hot dogs?
Weeb: Yes.

This, from the same child who decided a night earlier, as you cuddled with her new little unicorn (a Valentine’s Day present from me and your father), that unicorn farts smell like perfume. I don't wear perfume so I'm not sure where you got that from. I would be lying if I said I wasn't really proud of this.

WEEB THE OSTRICH TAMER

FROM MY BLOG:

Everybody has certainly heard, by now, the tales of Weeb and her ostriches.

We saw this little fellow while we were waiting for the Olympic Torch Relay to start in February 2010. I was certain it would be hit by a car and was dialing animal control when Weeb stepped in. In moments, Weeb had called to this young, feral ostrich and was bonding with it.

It always amazes me how ostriches respond to Weeb's 'whispering'. She really has a knack for it. As you can see from the photo, they like to have their heads scratched. I was worried that it would bite her fingers off, but the girl knows what she's doing and the bird followed her around for the rest of the night. Seriously, we couldn't get rid of it.

Ostrich Tamers are rare in these parts and I can tell you, we got some odd looks!

I'm not sure where my 4 year old daughter got this odd talent from. Nobody else in our family is especially good with animals, much less large, weird looking birds. I'm hoping it's something that can make her some money when she's older.

DAYCARE, KINDERGARTEN AND SAHM ENVY

FROM MY BLOG:

I am a mother who works full time. I went through the hell that most new moms go through when Maternity Leave is over and the idea of handing our kid/s off to strangers for the work day becomes a reality. We don't want to do it. Not many of us have a choice, these days.

We put our daughter into daycare two weeks before her first birthday. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. She stayed at that daycare facility until we were told we had to leave because the facility broke rules and had too many children under the age of two years old. We went through hell a second time to find another daycare that we could trust and now we had a bad experience under our belts. Luckily, we found another facility that we liked and, after several months, unfortunately had another bad experience. Looking for our third daycare, I think I would have done ANYTHING to be a stay at home mom, but it still was not an option and luckily, we found a spot in an amazing Montessori Child Care Centre for our daughter.

Several weeks ago, we registered our daughter for Kindergarten. After some governmental drama, we learned that our school had Full Day Kindergarten, which we had hoped for. Our daughter has been in daycare since she was a year old and been in a preschool environment for two years. The idea of two and a half hours for Kindergarten seems absurd to me. It's a hassle for working parents and if the child is in care, it's just rushing them off to yet another place during the day. And I won't lie, I was ecstatic at the idea of no longer paying such high child care costs!

Our family will be in a position, come September, where I can work part time. I am about to present an offer to my current employer, reducing my hours so I can pick my daughter up from school once Kindergarten starts. I am overjoyed at this idea. It means getting up earlier in the mornings and being out of the house before my husband and daughter wake up. It means we still need to find an hour or two of care for her in the mornings, before school starts. But it means I will be there for her, at the end of the day and end up having more time with her than I do now.

I'm greedy, I want to take my child to school AND be there to pick her up. Beyond the benefits to both her and my husband (who currently takes her to preschool in the mornings) the very thought of having time to clean my house (and do other chores) when my kid is at school, instead of the sad attempt to rush it into our lives on the weekend or after work, makes me a step away from giddy!

We've thought about me becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM). We could probably pull it off. We would be much tighter with money, but the family would, theoretically, be happier if I had more time to take care of them and take care of our home. I wonder if I am disciplined enough to actually do it though.

Everything is so rushed now. After working full time and picking up my daughter, and making dinner and cleaning up after dinner and spending a bit of time with my daughter and getting her to bed, I am pooped! And I have a wonderful partner who helps! Chores often fall to the bottom of the 'to do' list. Groceries are gathered at weekends. Bathrooms, vacuuming, mending, all chores are left to the weekend, which makes weekends very fast paced, especially if you add in any classes and visits with Grandma, Grandpa and cousins. And I'm lazy - I like movies and video games and time to myself. It's hard to manage a busy week and even harder to manage a busy weekend. Prioritizing is something I've become very good at, though the dust in my dining room might beg to differ.

As I sit at the computer on a Sunday afternoon, the laundry is tumbling in the washer, dinner is in the oven, and I contemplate the coming busy week. Maybe if I were a SAHM, I'd have time to properly clean this house and maybe write the novel that would make us rich. More than likely, I'd end up watching soaps and the potato chips in the cupboard would disappear.

At the moment, working vs. becoming a stay at home mom is still up in the air. It will sort itself out. It usually does.

WEEBY HOMEWORK JAN/10

FROM MY BLOG:

One night in January 2010, I was working late and Wonko sent me a text saying that he was doing homework with Weeb (who had just turned 4 y/0). They don’t force homework at her preschool, but if she’s not completed her work in class, sometimes she’ll ask her teacher if she can take it home. This is what I found. She’s written all her numbers from 1 to 100. Pretty good for 4 years old, eh?

But what’s this? Ah, proof that she is indeed my child.

Some more homework. My just-turned-4-years-old-daughter is doing ‘greater than / less than’ math work in preschool. We're very fortunate that her daycare / preschool has such fantastic teachers who are making this kind of work fun for her.

She's also reading pretty darned well for a (now) four and a half year old! I worry that Kindergarten is going to be pretty boring for this kid and that she's going to invent all manner of chaos to relieve that boredom.

CHRISTMAS NIGHT LIGHTS

Dear Weeb,

We had to take the Christmas lights down from your window. We decided to hang them from the ceiling in your room to use them as a night light. You really like that idea. And you are bugging us to hang the glow in the dark planets that Grandma and Grandpa bought you for Christmas.

Please sleep in your bed all night again.

TANTRUMS

Dear Weeb,

You've slept in your bed (fell asleep and stayed asleep) for almost all of December. You've had a couple of nights where you've sneaked into Daddy's room in the middle of the night or cried for us because you had a bad dream, but other than that, you have been great!

Now you'll fall asleep in your room (often after great complaint) but sneak into Daddy's room nearly every night again. You say you're having nightmares. But if we ask what about, you are obviously trying to make something up.

I keep wondering if something is going on that is bothering you, but I think you're just back to needing to be close again. You've become very clingy since you headed back to school after Christmas vacation. Not so much in the mornings, but very much from the time we get home and to bed time.

And the whining! OMG you can whine lately! I've told you that when I come to pick you up today at school, if you great me with a whine or beg to stay longer and makes a scene in doing so, then we will NOT be having Slurpee night. You seem to understand. We'll see. I'm sticking to my guns.

Normally the rule is if you approach me calmly and rationally and make a request to stay longer at school to play (etc.), then you can, as long as we don't have anything else to do. I've been trying to teach you to tell time a bit at these moments by saying, "The big hand is on the 12 right now, and it will be time to go when the big hand is on the 2." That's been helpful, but you still have tantrums. Works better than your usual, "10 more minutes, Mummy?" You've got no concept of 10 minutes, so the clock has been working fairly well.

Last night we had a royal whining meltdown. We were playing a game (an old Winnie the Pooh game from my childhood) and you wanted to play one more time. I told you we could play one more time but that meant no stories when we went upstairs (it was nearly bedtime). You agreed. I made you explain our deal to Daddy, to make sure you REALLY understood. It was a great deal. Until we were upstairs and you wanted a story!

I wish I had more patience with you. Your dad is far better with you when you're whiny or having tantrums. You're lucky - he'll be a good buffer between us when you get older.